I haven’t been active on this site in a while. And within this absence much has happened. As expected, I mean for most people a lot happens in a two and a half month web silence. Since January 4th, since 2015, I have let go and pulled on the chains all the same. I have seen more and talked more, however, I realize that I am tangled up in this circular grid I am surrounded by, and the only way out is up or perhaps down.
People are curious beings and I find that I know nothing of them. Being a human this is rather embarrassing, but this is what I must admit and this is what I shall learn for the up and coming nine and a half month period.
My research has limited preparation and no sense of direction. This is a bad start we think, but that’s the point. People know people through experience, and if we map these all out, nothing new will present itself. Only regurgitated information I see as knowing will be re-watched again and I will have gained nothing but a second visit. Now I’m not saying I am chucking out schedules altogether. Then I may as well let the chains go and watch my ride run off without me. I’m getting at the fact that I should not expect too much or anything so that when I do become disappointed or amazed only knowledge will show itself to me in its purest form without defeaters or luck skewing up the process of authentic discovery.
Second semester I have been static. Just doing and working without building. I have felt much of people’s motives and desires, and this seems wrong. But walking along the avenues and numbers I never think of myself as small as city virgins say. Words on words present themselves, and I was talking about this to a new friend with an old friend about how people, people I am very close with, emit so much optimism and excitement of change and doing, but their actions do not prove the sentences. And I left a lot of this behind. Living here I do. And I want my words to be honest and full of meaning and to become physically true.
And even if I am static, I have been thinking a lot upon this basis of my investigation. This is a good point to begin. I got a message yesterday before leaving for the city and I never expected to hear those words again. And that is honesty. That is the kind of thing I should be seeking, the discoveries that matter. The emotion is raw and that is all you can ask of unknown things, the truth.
I just poured myself some tea my friend gave me. She put the globe in my hand and told me that a flower will burst from the confided green leaves that holds it within. And after just a minute or so the red flower opened up to me, and I knew then that happiness can come from this globe and smaller ones within it. You just have to find your circular patterns to get the correct balance of truth and experience. Once you do so the petals will flaunt and you can inspire.
My next post will be new & fresh.